Unit 7

How Well Can We Listen?

Kathleen T. McWhorter This text is taken from Efficient & Flexible Reading (3rd edition) by Kathleen T. McWhorter. Harper Collins Publishers. 1992.

close1RT It is not uncommon to hear people complaining that no one listens to them and no one understands them. Such complaints come not only from kids but also from adults. How often is this a vital cause in the failure of personal relationships? How often does it contribute to broken homes? How often do we hear of a married couple who fail to have communication, or of children who feel deserted? It seems something must have gone wrong.

我們的"聽力"有多好?

凱瑟琳·T·麥克沃特

我們時(shí)常聽到人們抱怨說沒有人聆聽他們，沒有人能理解他們。這樣的抱怨不僅出自孩童之口，也出自成人之口。人際關(guān)系不和諧，這不往往是個(gè)重要原因嗎？家庭破裂，不也往往拜其所賜嗎？我們不也還常常聽說夫妻之間無法交流，孩子感覺被遺棄嗎？看來這其中一定出了什么問題。close2RT Experts tend to resort to the term "generation gap" to explain the conflicts between parents and children. Can this term be applied to the cases mentioned above? Though there might be room for hesitation in the adoption of it when "generation" is taken into account, it is far from wrong to borrow the rest in making an analysis. There are bound to be differences, or gaps, in the opinions of two people that give rise to conflicts, and ways to reduce them are by no means easy to be sought, but it is equally true to say that there is bound to be a solution to every problem. Part of the solution to human conflicts is to avoid misunderstanding.

每當(dāng)父母和孩子之間發(fā)生沖突的時(shí)候，專家們往往會(huì)用"代溝"這一術(shù)語來解釋。那么這個(gè)術(shù)語能否用于上面提到的情況呢？當(dāng)然，如果細(xì)究"代"的本義，那么這算不上特別貼切，但是大可借用該術(shù)語的其他涵義來分析問題。兩個(gè)人的觀點(diǎn)之所以會(huì)引起紛爭，肯定因?yàn)榇嬖诜制纾O(shè)法減少分歧又談何容易！但是我們也同樣可以說，每個(gè)問題肯定都會(huì)有辦法解決。人際沖突的部分解決辦法是避免誤解。close3RT Misunderstanding often arises from a lack of communication. Curiously enough, in a modern society where not a few advanced technological means of communication such as the mobile phone and pager have been developed, people are still confronted with this problem. Investigations show that technological inventions do help facilitate human communication. They also show that while there are more opportunities for personal contact, especially through verbal communication, many people still find their listeners do not listen to them. Clearly, something is wrong with their listening ability.

誤解常常源于缺乏交流。令人納悶的是，在現(xiàn)代社會(huì)，雖然發(fā)明了不少先進(jìn)的通訊工具，如移動(dòng)電話和傳呼機(jī)，但是人們?nèi)匀幻媾R這樣的問題。研究表明，科技發(fā)明確實(shí)有助于人與人之間的交流。研究也同樣發(fā)現(xiàn)，雖然人與人之間接觸的機(jī)會(huì)增加了，特別是言語交流的機(jī)會(huì)增加了，許多人仍然發(fā)現(xiàn)沒有人真正聆聽他們說話。很顯然，人們的聆聽能力出了問題。close4RT People may wonder why their listening ability is undesirable when their hearing ability is physically sound. This is a basic mistake we often make. Very often hearing is confused with listening, as they are so closely related. Believing that hearing is a physiological function, which comes to us naturally, we take it for granted that listening does not require much effort. Experts in the field of communications are quick to attack this belief. In their view, listening requires hard work and energy. When people are listening, they have quicker heartbeats and faster blood circulation. Good listening, they think, is not as simple as it might seem.

人們也許會(huì)問，為什么聽覺沒有問題而他們的聆聽能力卻不如人意呢？這就是我們常犯的錯(cuò)誤：因?yàn)槁犛X能力和聆聽能力的關(guān)系如此緊密，我們經(jīng)常把兩者混淆。我們會(huì)認(rèn)為聽覺能力是一種生理功能，是與生俱來的，所以我們想當(dāng)然地以為聆聽不需要付出特別的努力。對(duì)于這種觀點(diǎn)，交流領(lǐng)域的專家會(huì)毫不猶豫地加于指正。在他們看來，聆聽既費(fèi)神又費(fèi)力。人們聆聽時(shí)心跳加速，血液循環(huán)也會(huì)加快。專家認(rèn)為，認(rèn)真的聆聽并不是我們想象的那么簡單。close5RT To become a good listener begins with concentration. That looks easy on the surface. In too many cases, we have to listen to other people with physical and mental distractions around us. The ring of the telephone, the slam of a door or other human voices are some of the common physical distractions. The mental distractions in one's own mind, on the other hand, are much more difficult to overcome, for many reasons. A speaker may not be able to keep pace with the working of the listener's mind. The average person's rate of thinking is faster than the average rate of speech. With much free time left at their disposal, the listeners are likely to be carried away by their own thoughts and they soon lose their way. That is where the problem lies: listening too quickly.

要成為好的聆聽者首先需要集中注意力。這表面上看起來很簡單。在很多情況下，我們聽別人說話時(shí)，周圍都有外界的和心理的干擾，電話鈴聲、關(guān)門聲、其他人的聲音是一些我們常見的外界干擾。但是心理的干擾更難克服。這里面的原因很多，說話人可能無法跟上聽話人思想的速度。常人的思考速度要比說話的平均速度快得多。當(dāng)聽話人有很多自由時(shí)間支配的時(shí)候，他們就可能會(huì)太專注自己的思緒而很快就不知道說話人說到什么地方了。這就是問題的所在：聽得太快！close6RT Sometimes, the listener tends to skip part of what is being said unconsciously. Since each person has his own range of interests, when the speaker talks about something that is of no personal interest or concern to him, he would "switch off the talking." Though he might nod his head or respond with gestures, his mind is wandering. This automatic control exercises its influence especially when the topic is too boring.

有時(shí)候，聽話人會(huì)下意識(shí)地跳過說話人的一些談話。每個(gè)人都有自己的興趣愛好，如果說話人談?wù)撘恍┞犜捜瞬桓信d趣或與聽話人無關(guān)的事情，聽話人就會(huì)"關(guān)掉談話"。雖然聽話人可能還會(huì)點(diǎn)頭或用其他肢體語言回應(yīng)，他的思緒卻游移到別的事情上去了。這種自動(dòng)控制系統(tǒng)的作用在談話內(nèi)容太枯燥的時(shí)候尤其明顯。close7RT Other psychological factors also come into play. A person's feeling towards the speaker can affect his listening ability. If he has a poor impression of the speaker, because of his appearance or whatever, it is quite natural that he would not tune in to the words of the speaker.

其他心理因素也同樣會(huì)起作用。一個(gè)人對(duì)說話人的印象也會(huì)影響他的理解能力，如果聽者對(duì)說話人的印象不好，比如由于說話人的相貌或某些原因，那他自然就不會(huì)去認(rèn)真聆聽說話人說的內(nèi)容。close8RT Verbal communication is a good means for people to understand each other. What has to be borne in mind is that, to ensure that good communication takes place, talking and hearing are just not enough. When we hear people complain that no one listens to them or no one understands them, we should be able to provide an acceptable explanation.

言語交流是人們相互了解的很好方式。但是值得我們注意的是要確保交流的順利進(jìn)行，光憑說和聽是不夠的，當(dāng)聽到有人抱怨沒人聽他們說話或沒人理解他們的時(shí)候，我們應(yīng)該能夠給他們一個(gè)合理的解釋。

2

T What We Can Do to Improve Human Relationships

This text is based on an essay downloaded from the website http://www.archive.zinester.com

close1RT Every day we encounter many people. How do we deal with them? Following are five lessons to make us think about the way we treat people.

如何改善人際關(guān)系

威廉·津瑟

每天都會(huì)碰到很多人，我們應(yīng)如何與他們相處呢？以下的五個(gè)例子，能引發(fā)我們思考該如何對(duì)待他人這一問題。close2RT First Important Lesson — Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious (認(rèn)真的，盡職的) student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

第一課 清潔女工

大學(xué)的第二個(gè)月時(shí)，老師安排了一次隨堂測驗(yàn)。我平時(shí)學(xué)習(xí)很認(rèn)真，前面的題都輕輕松松做完了，直到最后一題：“學(xué)校的清潔女工叫什么名字？”close3RT Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would be counted in for our quiz grade.

這一定是開玩笑。我見過那清潔女工幾次，她很高、深色頭發(fā)、五十幾歲，但我怎么會(huì)知道她的名字？我交了卷，空著最后一個(gè)問題沒做。臨下課前，有一位同學(xué)問最后一題算不算分。close4RT "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'."

“當(dāng)然算分”，教授回答道，“在你們一生的經(jīng)歷當(dāng)中，你們會(huì)遇見很多人，每一位都很重要。他們值得你去注意和關(guān)心，即使是你所要做的僅僅是微笑和一聲‘你好’”。close5RT I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

我永遠(yuǎn)也沒有忘記這個(gè)教訓(xùn)，我也記住了她的名字叫多蘿西。close6RT Second Important Lesson — Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an elderly African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing (鞭打；猛烈打擊) rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

第二課 雨中偶遇

有一天晚上，已經(jīng)十一點(diǎn)半了，一位年長的非裔美國婦女頂著狂風(fēng)暴雨，站在亞拉巴馬的高速公路旁等車。她的車壞了，急需搭順路車。她全身濕透，于是決定招手?jǐn)r下一輛車。一位年青的白人停下車來幫她，這在充滿種族沖突的20世紀(jì)60年代簡直是聞所未聞的。這位青年人把她送到安全地，幫她獲得援助，并送她上了出租車。close7RT She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read:

　　"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched (使浸濕) not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole"

她似乎很趕時(shí)間，不過她還是寫下了青年人的地址并向他表示感謝。七天后，有人敲青年人的家門，令他驚奇的是，送到他門口的是一臺(tái)巨型彩色電視機(jī)。上面還附了一張?zhí)貏e的紙條，上面寫道：

"非常感謝你那天晚上在高速公路上幫我。那天晚上的大雨不僅淋濕了我的衣服，也使我的心情糟糕透頂，這時(shí)你來了。因?yàn)槟?，我才能及時(shí)趕到我丈夫的病床前，見他最后一面。你這樣幫助我，無私地幫助他人，上帝會(huì)保佑你的！

真誠的娜特·金·科爾太太"close8RT Third Important Lesson — Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she abruptly replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels (5分鎳幣) and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

第三課 常懷感激

以前圣代冰淇淋比現(xiàn)在便宜得多。有一天，一位十歲的小男孩走進(jìn)一間賓館的咖啡店，坐在桌邊。一位女服務(wù)員把一杯水放在他面前，“圣代冰淇淋多少錢一個(gè)？”他問道?！拔迕X，”女服務(wù)員回答道。小男孩把手從褲袋里邊拿出來,仔細(xì)地?cái)?shù)了數(shù)手上的硬幣?！澳敲雌胀ū苛芏嗌馘X一個(gè)呢？”他又問道。這時(shí)候已經(jīng)有很多人在等位子了，女服務(wù)員開始不耐煩了?！叭澹彼荒蜔┑鼗卮鸬?。小男孩又?jǐn)?shù)了數(shù)硬幣，說：“那就給我來一個(gè)普通冰淇淋吧。”女服務(wù)員拿來了冰淇淋、把賬單放在桌上就走開了。小男孩吃完冰淇淋，到柜臺(tái)付了錢就離開了。女服務(wù)員返回來擦桌子時(shí)，她流下了眼淚。在空碟的旁邊整整齊齊地放著兩個(gè)5分鎳幣和五個(gè)便士。他沒有要圣代冰淇淋就是為了有足夠的錢給她付小費(fèi)。close9RT Fourth Important Lesson — The Obstacles in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a large rock placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the rock, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the huge rock had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the huge rock from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

第四課 路中障物

古時(shí)候，有一位國王讓人把一塊大石頭放在路中間。然后他就躲在路旁，看看誰會(huì)去挪開這塊巨石。國王手下的一些最富有的商人和侍臣路過這里，他們都只是繞開石頭過去了。許多人大聲指責(zé)國王沒有把道路清理好，但是誰也不去想辦法把石頭從路上弄走。這時(shí)候，有一位農(nóng)夫挑了一擔(dān)青菜走過來。他來到大石邊，放下?lián)?，就去推大石。他使勁地推呀推，終于成功地把大石推到路旁去了。當(dāng)他挑起擔(dān)子準(zhǔn)備離開時(shí)，突然發(fā)現(xiàn)在原來放大石的地方有一個(gè)錢包。裝有很多金幣，還有一張紙條，是國王寫的，說金幣是送給挪開石頭的人的。農(nóng)夫?qū)W到了我們許多人永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)明白的道理！每一個(gè)障礙都是改善我們環(huán)境的機(jī)會(huì)。close10RT Fifth Important Lesson — Giving when it Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion (輸血) from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously (奇跡般地) survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies (抗體) needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

第五課 雪中送炭

很多年前，我在一家醫(yī)院做義工時(shí)，認(rèn)識(shí)了一個(gè)名叫莉茲的小女孩。她得了一種很嚴(yán)重的怪病，唯一康復(fù)的機(jī)會(huì)只有靠她五歲的弟弟輸血給她，因?yàn)樗艿芤苍纪瑯拥牟〔⑵孥E般地好了，因此體內(nèi)已經(jīng)產(chǎn)生了抗體。醫(yī)生把這一情況告訴了她的弟弟，問他是否愿意輸血給姐姐。我看他猶豫了一會(huì)兒，然后深深地吸了一口氣，說，"我愿意，我會(huì)輸血給她，只要能救她。"輸血過程中，他躺在姐姐的隔壁床，臉上帶著笑容，就像我們一樣，看著血色漸漸地回到姐姐的臉上。這時(shí)他的臉色漸漸變得蒼白，臉上的微笑也消失了，他抬起頭看著醫(yī)生，用顫抖的聲音問道："我是不是很快就要死了？"男孩太小，誤解了醫(yī)生的意思，他以為要救姐姐，就必須把全部的血都輸給她。